Hannah and Samuel

When I was in Branson back in May we went to an antique shop and I came across this plaque that held 3 pictures and it said "For this child I prayed... 1st Samuel 1:27" I LOVED IT! I took a picture with my phone. I didn't buy it cause I new that I could make it and make it even cuter. What I loved was the verse. I am totally putting it above my child's crib.

Today I went through the pictures on my phone and came across this. Then I went and opened my bible up and started reading all about Hannah and her prayer for a baby. She was praying so hard and crying that the preacher thought she was drunk! She made a promise to God that if he would give her a baby she would give him back for his entire lifetime. Amazing! So God heard her prayer and she went home and had a baby and when he was weaned she gave him to the church.

I was just thinking about what type of women Hannah must have been. I know that I want a baby badly, but I want to be able to see him/her grow. If I were to be like Hannah was in today's world what would that look like? I'm pretty sure my pastor would not want to have a baby in his house. It would be unthinkable to give your child away.

God did bless Hannah with three more sons and two daughters and it says that Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord. I know that Hannah must have been at peace about this. Can you imagine growing up in the presence of the Lord himself?

I have just been thinking about all that I read and wondering. What if I prayed and prayed, so much so that I looked like a drunk person. Would I have to promise my child would be God's before I am blessed with one? Would it be ok if I did this? Would this mean giving my child away to live with a minister or a missionary? Would James be at peace with my promise to God?

On another note, I have started going to this foundations Bible study at my church. I chose to be in the one for women and didn't even see what the study was about. It's called "Made to Crave" and it's all about food! Ahhhhh! That is my weakness and now this study is forcing me to deal with it. Yikes, I don't know what I got myself into. To be honest I'm pretty scared that I'm going to have to look at how I see food. Right now it is source of comfort and joy. I guess I'll let you guys in on my progress, most likely there will be a lot of venting ahead.

Tomorrow morning I am going and getting a badly needed haircut. I'm pretty excited. I think I'm going to have several inches cut off since I want to have all the fake blond cut out so it will all be my natural color. I hope it will come out ok. Haircuts can be a pretty scary ordeal. I've had several bad ones and I realize that hair is just hair and it does in fact grow back. I have just come to like having this longer hair.

After I get done at the salon I plan on going to the commissary and buying all whole foods. I have done that before and lasted only a week. I had a ton more energy and a lot more trips to the lou. I'm not going to go completely crazy with it this time. I'm going to try baby steps and hopefully start putting what I put in my mouth in God's hands. I'm hoping that through this study I will be able to turn over my addiction of food to Him. We'll have to see what happens over the next few weeks.

I'm not going to the OB anytime soon. I am tired of all the temperature taking and writing every little thing about my cycle out. I'm going to try and live a healthier lifestyle for the next three months. After the new year I will then ask to be referred to the OB.
I kinda feel like I am giving God three months. Ok God here is my womb, do with it what you will. I do still want to go to the OB after January though just to see what is really going on. God is God though and if there is anything wrong he can see it and fix it. I guess we will all just have to wait.