When I was in Branson back in May we went to an antique shop and I came across this plaque that held 3 pictures and it said "For this child I prayed... 1st Samuel 1:27" I LOVED IT! I took a picture with my phone. I didn't buy it cause I new that I could make it and make it even cuter. What I loved was the verse. I am totally putting it above my child's crib.
Today I went through the pictures on my phone and came across this. Then I went and opened my bible up and started reading all about Hannah and her prayer for a baby. She was praying so hard and crying that the preacher thought she was drunk! She made a promise to God that if he would give her a baby she would give him back for his entire lifetime. Amazing! So God heard her prayer and she went home and had a baby and when he was weaned she gave him to the church.
I was just thinking about what type of women Hannah must have been. I know that I want a baby badly, but I want to be able to see him/her grow. If I were to be like Hannah was in today's world what would that look like? I'm pretty sure my pastor would not want to have a baby in his house. It would be unthinkable to give your child away.
God did bless Hannah with three more sons and two daughters and it says that Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord. I know that Hannah must have been at peace about this. Can you imagine growing up in the presence of the Lord himself?
I have just been thinking about all that I read and wondering. What if I prayed and prayed, so much so that I looked like a drunk person. Would I have to promise my child would be God's before I am blessed with one? Would it be ok if I did this? Would this mean giving my child away to live with a minister or a missionary? Would James be at peace with my promise to God?
On another note, I have started going to this foundations Bible study at my church. I chose to be in the one for women and didn't even see what the study was about. It's called "Made to Crave" and it's all about food! Ahhhhh! That is my weakness and now this study is forcing me to deal with it. Yikes, I don't know what I got myself into. To be honest I'm pretty scared that I'm going to have to look at how I see food. Right now it is source of comfort and joy. I guess I'll let you guys in on my progress, most likely there will be a lot of venting ahead.
Tomorrow morning I am going and getting a badly needed haircut. I'm pretty excited. I think I'm going to have several inches cut off since I want to have all the fake blond cut out so it will all be my natural color. I hope it will come out ok. Haircuts can be a pretty scary ordeal. I've had several bad ones and I realize that hair is just hair and it does in fact grow back. I have just come to like having this longer hair.
After I get done at the salon I plan on going to the commissary and buying all whole foods. I have done that before and lasted only a week. I had a ton more energy and a lot more trips to the lou. I'm not going to go completely crazy with it this time. I'm going to try baby steps and hopefully start putting what I put in my mouth in God's hands. I'm hoping that through this study I will be able to turn over my addiction of food to Him. We'll have to see what happens over the next few weeks.
I'm not going to the OB anytime soon. I am tired of all the temperature taking and writing every little thing about my cycle out. I'm going to try and live a healthier lifestyle for the next three months. After the new year I will then ask to be referred to the OB.
I kinda feel like I am giving God three months. Ok God here is my womb, do with it what you will. I do still want to go to the OB after January though just to see what is really going on. God is God though and if there is anything wrong he can see it and fix it. I guess we will all just have to wait.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
9/11/11
September 11th is only two days away. K-Love (radio station) has been mentioning it all week. It gets me thinking about that devastating day that took place ten years ago.
I was a freshman in high school sitting in Mr. Moyers government class when I first heard about it. I don't remember what class period that was. I'm thinking it was 2nd or 3rd hour. Mr. Moyers was able to get a hold of a tv. He wheeled it into the room and turned it on. Both towers had already been hit. He told us "Pay attention, you are watching history in the making." I don't remember seeing the towers fall or too much else that happened that day. I remember being worried for my Uncle Jim and being worried for my brother. I have no idea what my Uncle Jim does but I knew he worked for the government in some fashion and often traveled to Washington. I was worried for my brother because he was in the Marines at the time and deployed. I was also worried for Lindsay (my sister-in-law) being alone in North Carolina and watching this and then freaking out.
When I got home from school we just watched the news. When my dad got home from work he called either my Aunt Sandy or My Uncle and heard that he was fine.
My bothers deployment was unfortunately extended by at least three months I believe. He was among those first troops to be in Iraq after September 11th. I will never know what he went through. I love and appreciate what he and others like him were able to do for our country.
America's sense of patriotism was so high. It seemed everyone had those yellow ribbon magnets or flag magnets on their cars. America had a cause. How dare someone come into our country and threaten our sense of security. We were out to get those bastards who dared to threaten our freedom.
I can't believe that was ten years ago. I think of all the lives who have been forever changed. How many people died that day. It still breaks my heart and angers me. As an american I never expected any wars or attacks would ever happen on our home soil. That was always something that happened overseas.
K-Love has this make a difference event going on http://www.klove.com/ministry/make-a-difference.aspx
they want a million people to go out on 9/11/11and do something that will impact the world. I want to do something but blogging is the only thing I can think of. I'm hoping that any fellow bloggers out there will just share their story of where you were and what you were thinking after the attacks on 9/11/01.
I wish there was more I could do. I think about all the veterans who were serving during that time and got out like my brother did. They are still young. It was only ten years ago. I feel like my generation thinks of veterans as old homeless guys. My dad is a veteran but he retired from the military and has all those retirement benefits that come as a package deal for his service to our country. He earned those and I'm sure he is grateful to have them. I'm just wondering what our country does for it's veterans who didn't retire. I know there are some VA benefits but is it enough? I really wish I could personally say thank you to those who have served. They say they are just doing their job, but it's a job that is so much more than that. It is a job that requires you to put your best foot forward and represent the fighting spirit of America itself. If you have ever served our country I am forever grateful.
* Edit: Joe was not deployed during this time. He was deployed the next year. So I wasn't worried about Lindsay at this time. Oops. I was worried about her when he was deployed and I do believe that he was gone longer than anticipated.
I also wanted to say that I realize September 11th should not just be about the military and it isn't. It's about all those that lost their lives that day and the everyday heroes that stepped up and did their job. The firefighters and policeman of New York and surrounding areas. Being a military family I tend to see all things military and just wanted to make sure and correct myself.
I was a freshman in high school sitting in Mr. Moyers government class when I first heard about it. I don't remember what class period that was. I'm thinking it was 2nd or 3rd hour. Mr. Moyers was able to get a hold of a tv. He wheeled it into the room and turned it on. Both towers had already been hit. He told us "Pay attention, you are watching history in the making." I don't remember seeing the towers fall or too much else that happened that day. I remember being worried for my Uncle Jim and being worried for my brother. I have no idea what my Uncle Jim does but I knew he worked for the government in some fashion and often traveled to Washington. I was worried for my brother because he was in the Marines at the time and deployed. I was also worried for Lindsay (my sister-in-law) being alone in North Carolina and watching this and then freaking out.
When I got home from school we just watched the news. When my dad got home from work he called either my Aunt Sandy or My Uncle and heard that he was fine.
My bothers deployment was unfortunately extended by at least three months I believe. He was among those first troops to be in Iraq after September 11th. I will never know what he went through. I love and appreciate what he and others like him were able to do for our country.
America's sense of patriotism was so high. It seemed everyone had those yellow ribbon magnets or flag magnets on their cars. America had a cause. How dare someone come into our country and threaten our sense of security. We were out to get those bastards who dared to threaten our freedom.
I can't believe that was ten years ago. I think of all the lives who have been forever changed. How many people died that day. It still breaks my heart and angers me. As an american I never expected any wars or attacks would ever happen on our home soil. That was always something that happened overseas.
K-Love has this make a difference event going on http://www.klove.com/ministry/make-a-difference.aspx
they want a million people to go out on 9/11/11and do something that will impact the world. I want to do something but blogging is the only thing I can think of. I'm hoping that any fellow bloggers out there will just share their story of where you were and what you were thinking after the attacks on 9/11/01.
I wish there was more I could do. I think about all the veterans who were serving during that time and got out like my brother did. They are still young. It was only ten years ago. I feel like my generation thinks of veterans as old homeless guys. My dad is a veteran but he retired from the military and has all those retirement benefits that come as a package deal for his service to our country. He earned those and I'm sure he is grateful to have them. I'm just wondering what our country does for it's veterans who didn't retire. I know there are some VA benefits but is it enough? I really wish I could personally say thank you to those who have served. They say they are just doing their job, but it's a job that is so much more than that. It is a job that requires you to put your best foot forward and represent the fighting spirit of America itself. If you have ever served our country I am forever grateful.
* Edit: Joe was not deployed during this time. He was deployed the next year. So I wasn't worried about Lindsay at this time. Oops. I was worried about her when he was deployed and I do believe that he was gone longer than anticipated.
I also wanted to say that I realize September 11th should not just be about the military and it isn't. It's about all those that lost their lives that day and the everyday heroes that stepped up and did their job. The firefighters and policeman of New York and surrounding areas. Being a military family I tend to see all things military and just wanted to make sure and correct myself.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Dreaded Topic: Weight
I have recently been noticing that I am putting on a few pounds. I weighed myself this morning on my little dial scale. I bent over and squinted my eyes to see what it said. (note to self put on glasses next time and buy a digital scale.) Yikes, 188 is what I read. A mere12 pounds from being 200. That's as much as a 6 foot tall man! As a women of 5'4" this is not ideal.
So I googled some weight charts. http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm
I think that I am medium built so 138 would be my goal on this chart. 50 pounds to lose. That just seems so depressing. I can't believe I am posting this. Seriously.
I know some of you might say this chart isn't correct it doesn't factor in age or muscle mass or whatever. The thing is I am in fact obese. Not overweight, obese. I might be average by America's standard but America's standards have been questionable for sometime now.
So what is a girl to do? More importantly what is this girl going to do? In all honesty, I have no idea.
I overheard a trainer talking at our gym some time ago. She said 10% of your weight is hereditary, 30% comes from how physically active you are and 60% comes from the food you put into your body.
This is not good news for me. Only 30% is exercising. Not that I really do that anymore anyway. 60% is what I put into my mouth. Just shoot me now. I LOVE to eat. I love to eat bad. Meat, potatoes, and breads are my favorites. I know that it is ok to eat those things but to force myself to cut back on them just seems cruel.
I have been thinking of doing weight watchers or Jenny Craig and ordering the food so then it is all laid out for me, but that doesn't seem very practical. That would only work if James was out to sea. (Note: I am not blaming James for my weight issues. They are mine and mine alone.)
I have also thought about putting the whole make a baby thing on hold and get some prescription energy or diet pills. We wouldn't really stop trying, just not check in with the OB people yet.
I am hoping that putting all this out in the open will somehow magically make me more accountable and aware of what I put in my body. Not sure it will do anything really.
Please note that I know I am still a pretty girl. I know that you can be big and beautiful at the same time. I am not being vain, just confident (at this moment. Wait till i have a mood swing and it's another story!) You cannot however be fat and healthy at the same time unless you are a baby or a grandma. Let's face it who doesn't love a fat baby and a nice warm hug from a plump grandma?
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