Change is good

There have been lots of changes recently. I'm so glad too. It seems a lot of  people are scared of change, I rather love it. I embrace it. In small doses anyway. I think that's why I'm glad I married a military man. I get to change where I live, what I do, how my house looks every couple of years. It can be a bit unnerving, but is usually refreshing. (I am a bit frustrated that I haven't/can't rearrange my living room furniture.)

I switched from one gym that I worked at to another one closer to home. It takes me exactly 6 minutes from my front door to the time clock on foot. It's about the same driving too, I have to go around a couple of gates. It still beats the 20 minutes it did take. (not that 20 minutes is long either.) Is proximity to home the only reason I made this change? No, it's not. It's not a drastic change. I do the same thing, make the same money. You could say it isn't even a real change. Maybe it's not. But it feels like it.

Instead of eight hour shifts, I work five or six hours depending if I work the mid shift or the last shift. Big deal? Maybe not. It feels like it though.

I am cleaning my house and cooking more. Maybe this is because I am home more.

I read this article not long ago. I was in a slump. I'm not sure that I am fully out of it yet, but there is definite movement.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/25956-11-things-to-know-at-25ish?start=1

It's 11 things to know at 25ish. I just turned 26 in December. I was curious to what this would say. It was really a wake up call. PLEASE click on the link and read the article. It is really great. Encouraging, not a depressing list of things you need to have accomplished but haven't. It's more of a call to rise up and take control of who you want to become. Everyday we wake up, we get to decide who we are. If you aren't happy where you are, change. I am.

Heidi

I just watched Heidi on Netflix. The version with Shirley Tempel. Such a good movie. If you have Netflix and have a little girl or are a little girl at heart I suggest you watch it. They just don't make movies that wholesome anymore.

Great Reminders

"Not a museum for good people, but a hospital for the broken."

"In the loneliest places, when I can't remember what grace is"

13 going on 30

I love this movie. I'm watching it on tv right now. I can't believe I don't own it. It is just fun and girly. It makes me want to have a giant slumber party and eat lots of junk food and talk about boys.

Unworthy, but

I am unworthy, but he loves me anyway.

I surprised myself with the last blog post. It is easier to post a real raw emotion blog when I feel no one will read it. Shortly after I posted the last blog I took a hot shower and bawled my eyes out praying to the Lord. I was still just feeling so alone and desperate. I texted my sister-in-law to pray. She did. I love her so much. She sent me some powerful and encouraging scripture and it helped to get me through the rest of that day.

I am reminded of the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. It is a phenomenal book. One of the things I remember they talk about is that we as women are created as social beings.

One of the attacks or lies that Satan has been telling me is that I am all alone. No one understands, no one wants to have a friend like you. You are a jealous snobby girl. They would be better off if you just didn't talk with them anymore. Pretty much trying to get me to cut off my emotional ties with friends. He (Satan) knows that when we get together and encourage each other, we are doing what God created us to do. He created us to be in communion, or fellowship, with Him.

So being created as a social being, a women who displays emotion openly. It is not a bad thing. We, both women and men, were created in His image. We are very different. People like to think of God as a guy. We say "Him," when we talk. Or "Our Father." However we were all created in his likeness. Genesis 1:27. If you think about it, like John and Stasi did, you will see the wonder and the beauty of God himself. He created men strong and protective because He is strong. He created women beautiful, nurturing and loving because He himself is all of those things.

I do know where to turn when I feel empty and broken so please don't worry about that. But remember that we are all human and fragile. Sometimes I need to be encouraged. Other times I am an encourager. So I would encourage you today, tonight, whenever you read this, to think of who in your life you could lift up in prayer or text that you were just thinking of them. I hope each of you has someone to lift you up. Even better to remember is that we are sons and daughters of the Most High King. Thats right, you my dear, are a princess or prince.

bitterness

I feel like bitterness is eating me alive. I'm letting it. It shows it's ugly face and I let it take over. Where does it come from? How do I make it go away? I thought I was an encouraging person. I am no longer. What if I never was?
I want to be nice. When I reach inside all I see is death. I don't want to see or talk to anyone. I am not a good friend. I am not a good person. Why does anyone want me in their life? I am ugly, ugly from the inside out.

James and I arrived back in Florida safe and sound three nights ago. I have been pretty lazy. Occasionally getting up to switch the laundry over or heat up something to eat. Today was just a bit different. I was inspired by pintrest of course. There is a calendar of organization for an entire year! It basically says clean one shelf one day, organize your junk drawer another, throw out the actual "junk" from your drawers another day etc.

Well that got me started. Unfortunately I have to go back to work tomorrow so I can't go through my storage. I did go through all my bathroom drawers and my pantry. I am getting rid of lots of lotions and all the travel sized products I take from the hotels and never use. And I pay for them, so yeah, I take them. I always plan to have them for guests, but in reality they are just taking up space. I have them in a paper grocery bag ready to donate. I want to take them to be used by homeless veterans. I need to research a drop off place though, so that might take me a month before I get to that....

I suppose that is one of the many things I would like to work on with myself this year; To finish the things I start. I still have a 1/3 of a scarf that I started knitting before I went to Japan. I have patterns and some fabric for sewing projects. Those are crafty things though, I think lack of interest can be to blame for that. I love the idea of crafting. Doing something with my time besides being in front of the tv or computer. In reality, I would rather be in front of the tv or computer.