When I was in Branson back in May we went to an antique shop and I came across this plaque that held 3 pictures and it said "For this child I prayed... 1st Samuel 1:27" I LOVED IT! I took a picture with my phone. I didn't buy it cause I new that I could make it and make it even cuter. What I loved was the verse. I am totally putting it above my child's crib.
Today I went through the pictures on my phone and came across this. Then I went and opened my bible up and started reading all about Hannah and her prayer for a baby. She was praying so hard and crying that the preacher thought she was drunk! She made a promise to God that if he would give her a baby she would give him back for his entire lifetime. Amazing! So God heard her prayer and she went home and had a baby and when he was weaned she gave him to the church.
I was just thinking about what type of women Hannah must have been. I know that I want a baby badly, but I want to be able to see him/her grow. If I were to be like Hannah was in today's world what would that look like? I'm pretty sure my pastor would not want to have a baby in his house. It would be unthinkable to give your child away.
God did bless Hannah with three more sons and two daughters and it says that Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord. I know that Hannah must have been at peace about this. Can you imagine growing up in the presence of the Lord himself?
I have just been thinking about all that I read and wondering. What if I prayed and prayed, so much so that I looked like a drunk person. Would I have to promise my child would be God's before I am blessed with one? Would it be ok if I did this? Would this mean giving my child away to live with a minister or a missionary? Would James be at peace with my promise to God?
On another note, I have started going to this foundations Bible study at my church. I chose to be in the one for women and didn't even see what the study was about. It's called "Made to Crave" and it's all about food! Ahhhhh! That is my weakness and now this study is forcing me to deal with it. Yikes, I don't know what I got myself into. To be honest I'm pretty scared that I'm going to have to look at how I see food. Right now it is source of comfort and joy. I guess I'll let you guys in on my progress, most likely there will be a lot of venting ahead.
Tomorrow morning I am going and getting a badly needed haircut. I'm pretty excited. I think I'm going to have several inches cut off since I want to have all the fake blond cut out so it will all be my natural color. I hope it will come out ok. Haircuts can be a pretty scary ordeal. I've had several bad ones and I realize that hair is just hair and it does in fact grow back. I have just come to like having this longer hair.
After I get done at the salon I plan on going to the commissary and buying all whole foods. I have done that before and lasted only a week. I had a ton more energy and a lot more trips to the lou. I'm not going to go completely crazy with it this time. I'm going to try baby steps and hopefully start putting what I put in my mouth in God's hands. I'm hoping that through this study I will be able to turn over my addiction of food to Him. We'll have to see what happens over the next few weeks.
I'm not going to the OB anytime soon. I am tired of all the temperature taking and writing every little thing about my cycle out. I'm going to try and live a healthier lifestyle for the next three months. After the new year I will then ask to be referred to the OB.
I kinda feel like I am giving God three months. Ok God here is my womb, do with it what you will. I do still want to go to the OB after January though just to see what is really going on. God is God though and if there is anything wrong he can see it and fix it. I guess we will all just have to wait.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
9/11/11
September 11th is only two days away. K-Love (radio station) has been mentioning it all week. It gets me thinking about that devastating day that took place ten years ago.
I was a freshman in high school sitting in Mr. Moyers government class when I first heard about it. I don't remember what class period that was. I'm thinking it was 2nd or 3rd hour. Mr. Moyers was able to get a hold of a tv. He wheeled it into the room and turned it on. Both towers had already been hit. He told us "Pay attention, you are watching history in the making." I don't remember seeing the towers fall or too much else that happened that day. I remember being worried for my Uncle Jim and being worried for my brother. I have no idea what my Uncle Jim does but I knew he worked for the government in some fashion and often traveled to Washington. I was worried for my brother because he was in the Marines at the time and deployed. I was also worried for Lindsay (my sister-in-law) being alone in North Carolina and watching this and then freaking out.
When I got home from school we just watched the news. When my dad got home from work he called either my Aunt Sandy or My Uncle and heard that he was fine.
My bothers deployment was unfortunately extended by at least three months I believe. He was among those first troops to be in Iraq after September 11th. I will never know what he went through. I love and appreciate what he and others like him were able to do for our country.
America's sense of patriotism was so high. It seemed everyone had those yellow ribbon magnets or flag magnets on their cars. America had a cause. How dare someone come into our country and threaten our sense of security. We were out to get those bastards who dared to threaten our freedom.
I can't believe that was ten years ago. I think of all the lives who have been forever changed. How many people died that day. It still breaks my heart and angers me. As an american I never expected any wars or attacks would ever happen on our home soil. That was always something that happened overseas.
K-Love has this make a difference event going on http://www.klove.com/ministry/make-a-difference.aspx
they want a million people to go out on 9/11/11and do something that will impact the world. I want to do something but blogging is the only thing I can think of. I'm hoping that any fellow bloggers out there will just share their story of where you were and what you were thinking after the attacks on 9/11/01.
I wish there was more I could do. I think about all the veterans who were serving during that time and got out like my brother did. They are still young. It was only ten years ago. I feel like my generation thinks of veterans as old homeless guys. My dad is a veteran but he retired from the military and has all those retirement benefits that come as a package deal for his service to our country. He earned those and I'm sure he is grateful to have them. I'm just wondering what our country does for it's veterans who didn't retire. I know there are some VA benefits but is it enough? I really wish I could personally say thank you to those who have served. They say they are just doing their job, but it's a job that is so much more than that. It is a job that requires you to put your best foot forward and represent the fighting spirit of America itself. If you have ever served our country I am forever grateful.
* Edit: Joe was not deployed during this time. He was deployed the next year. So I wasn't worried about Lindsay at this time. Oops. I was worried about her when he was deployed and I do believe that he was gone longer than anticipated.
I also wanted to say that I realize September 11th should not just be about the military and it isn't. It's about all those that lost their lives that day and the everyday heroes that stepped up and did their job. The firefighters and policeman of New York and surrounding areas. Being a military family I tend to see all things military and just wanted to make sure and correct myself.
I was a freshman in high school sitting in Mr. Moyers government class when I first heard about it. I don't remember what class period that was. I'm thinking it was 2nd or 3rd hour. Mr. Moyers was able to get a hold of a tv. He wheeled it into the room and turned it on. Both towers had already been hit. He told us "Pay attention, you are watching history in the making." I don't remember seeing the towers fall or too much else that happened that day. I remember being worried for my Uncle Jim and being worried for my brother. I have no idea what my Uncle Jim does but I knew he worked for the government in some fashion and often traveled to Washington. I was worried for my brother because he was in the Marines at the time and deployed. I was also worried for Lindsay (my sister-in-law) being alone in North Carolina and watching this and then freaking out.
When I got home from school we just watched the news. When my dad got home from work he called either my Aunt Sandy or My Uncle and heard that he was fine.
My bothers deployment was unfortunately extended by at least three months I believe. He was among those first troops to be in Iraq after September 11th. I will never know what he went through. I love and appreciate what he and others like him were able to do for our country.
America's sense of patriotism was so high. It seemed everyone had those yellow ribbon magnets or flag magnets on their cars. America had a cause. How dare someone come into our country and threaten our sense of security. We were out to get those bastards who dared to threaten our freedom.
I can't believe that was ten years ago. I think of all the lives who have been forever changed. How many people died that day. It still breaks my heart and angers me. As an american I never expected any wars or attacks would ever happen on our home soil. That was always something that happened overseas.
K-Love has this make a difference event going on http://www.klove.com/ministry/make-a-difference.aspx
they want a million people to go out on 9/11/11and do something that will impact the world. I want to do something but blogging is the only thing I can think of. I'm hoping that any fellow bloggers out there will just share their story of where you were and what you were thinking after the attacks on 9/11/01.
I wish there was more I could do. I think about all the veterans who were serving during that time and got out like my brother did. They are still young. It was only ten years ago. I feel like my generation thinks of veterans as old homeless guys. My dad is a veteran but he retired from the military and has all those retirement benefits that come as a package deal for his service to our country. He earned those and I'm sure he is grateful to have them. I'm just wondering what our country does for it's veterans who didn't retire. I know there are some VA benefits but is it enough? I really wish I could personally say thank you to those who have served. They say they are just doing their job, but it's a job that is so much more than that. It is a job that requires you to put your best foot forward and represent the fighting spirit of America itself. If you have ever served our country I am forever grateful.
* Edit: Joe was not deployed during this time. He was deployed the next year. So I wasn't worried about Lindsay at this time. Oops. I was worried about her when he was deployed and I do believe that he was gone longer than anticipated.
I also wanted to say that I realize September 11th should not just be about the military and it isn't. It's about all those that lost their lives that day and the everyday heroes that stepped up and did their job. The firefighters and policeman of New York and surrounding areas. Being a military family I tend to see all things military and just wanted to make sure and correct myself.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Dreaded Topic: Weight
I have recently been noticing that I am putting on a few pounds. I weighed myself this morning on my little dial scale. I bent over and squinted my eyes to see what it said. (note to self put on glasses next time and buy a digital scale.) Yikes, 188 is what I read. A mere12 pounds from being 200. That's as much as a 6 foot tall man! As a women of 5'4" this is not ideal.
So I googled some weight charts. http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm
I think that I am medium built so 138 would be my goal on this chart. 50 pounds to lose. That just seems so depressing. I can't believe I am posting this. Seriously.
I know some of you might say this chart isn't correct it doesn't factor in age or muscle mass or whatever. The thing is I am in fact obese. Not overweight, obese. I might be average by America's standard but America's standards have been questionable for sometime now.
So what is a girl to do? More importantly what is this girl going to do? In all honesty, I have no idea.
I overheard a trainer talking at our gym some time ago. She said 10% of your weight is hereditary, 30% comes from how physically active you are and 60% comes from the food you put into your body.
This is not good news for me. Only 30% is exercising. Not that I really do that anymore anyway. 60% is what I put into my mouth. Just shoot me now. I LOVE to eat. I love to eat bad. Meat, potatoes, and breads are my favorites. I know that it is ok to eat those things but to force myself to cut back on them just seems cruel.
I have been thinking of doing weight watchers or Jenny Craig and ordering the food so then it is all laid out for me, but that doesn't seem very practical. That would only work if James was out to sea. (Note: I am not blaming James for my weight issues. They are mine and mine alone.)
I have also thought about putting the whole make a baby thing on hold and get some prescription energy or diet pills. We wouldn't really stop trying, just not check in with the OB people yet.
I am hoping that putting all this out in the open will somehow magically make me more accountable and aware of what I put in my body. Not sure it will do anything really.
Please note that I know I am still a pretty girl. I know that you can be big and beautiful at the same time. I am not being vain, just confident (at this moment. Wait till i have a mood swing and it's another story!) You cannot however be fat and healthy at the same time unless you are a baby or a grandma. Let's face it who doesn't love a fat baby and a nice warm hug from a plump grandma?
Monday, August 29, 2011
Confessions of a Girl in Love
James has been home recovering from surgery for the past two weeks and goes back to work tomorrow. I'm pretty bummed about that. It has been so nice having him home.
Today he went to his physical therapy at 7am then came back with McDonald's. We watched some tv then he went back to sleep. I said "Your going to go back to bed?"
He said "You could join me."
Ah, this man knows my heart! So I went back to bed with him for a bit. :)
I have really liked working nights these past couple of weeks. We have been sleeping all day and staying up all night. I feel young.
Last week after I got off work he left a voicemail asking me to go out to IHOP with him. So working nights might not be the best for our health but we are having fun. We did take the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood after we got home from IHOP, but I don't think I was quite able to work of all those pancakes.
We are also making some late night trips to Wal-mart. Those are always fun except we tend to buy junk food. We even make it into more of a date by going to the nice Wal-mart vs. going to the ghetto one that is closer to our house. Let me ask you this, does your town have a nice Wal-mart and a ghetto one? When we lived in Virginia it was like that. In our hometown there is only one, but it's nice.
Not much else has been going on. Just hanging out with the hubs and having a great time. I feel like we are back to dating again. I am totally bragging too! :) I'm a girl in love.
Today he went to his physical therapy at 7am then came back with McDonald's. We watched some tv then he went back to sleep. I said "Your going to go back to bed?"
He said "You could join me."
Ah, this man knows my heart! So I went back to bed with him for a bit. :)
I have really liked working nights these past couple of weeks. We have been sleeping all day and staying up all night. I feel young.
Last week after I got off work he left a voicemail asking me to go out to IHOP with him. So working nights might not be the best for our health but we are having fun. We did take the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood after we got home from IHOP, but I don't think I was quite able to work of all those pancakes.
We are also making some late night trips to Wal-mart. Those are always fun except we tend to buy junk food. We even make it into more of a date by going to the nice Wal-mart vs. going to the ghetto one that is closer to our house. Let me ask you this, does your town have a nice Wal-mart and a ghetto one? When we lived in Virginia it was like that. In our hometown there is only one, but it's nice.
Not much else has been going on. Just hanging out with the hubs and having a great time. I feel like we are back to dating again. I am totally bragging too! :) I'm a girl in love.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
wish I was witty
When I get bored I go to my blog and then just start clicking the next blog tab. I have come across several blogs that I love. Oddly enough the ones I like the most are written by Mormon girls.* They don't talk about their faith or anything just about their day to day life.
Why I love their blogs:
They are funny
They have people who comment on them regularly about how funny they are
They spend a lot of time with family both immediate and extended
They are smart and you can tell, it might be that they have fantastic grammar skills
One of them posted this video. I love this girl and think she is now one of my favorites along with Nora Jones and Priscilla Ahn.
*I have a closed mind and think all Mormons have sister-wives and wear purple dresses. I love that this is not true.
Why I love their blogs:
They are funny
They have people who comment on them regularly about how funny they are
They spend a lot of time with family both immediate and extended
They are smart and you can tell, it might be that they have fantastic grammar skills
One of them posted this video. I love this girl and think she is now one of my favorites along with Nora Jones and Priscilla Ahn.
*I have a closed mind and think all Mormons have sister-wives and wear purple dresses. I love that this is not true.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Respect and Murple
There has been a lot going on lately. When my parents were here the other week James was switched from instructor duty to TAD (temporary assigned duty) at the barracks. He will be at the barracks for a full year and he is working the evening shift from 3:30-11:30. He is ok with this since he knew he would have to go TAD for a year while here and it is best for eval purposes that it be our second year. In our third year he will be back as an instructor so that will be good going back to the fleet. He also chose the evening shift since it has down time and he should be able to study for his MTS. (Master Training Specialist qualification) That is the only reason people like to get orders here is to get that qual. If he wanted to become a teacher when he retires this qualification looks very good. He also hopes to start taking some online college classes soon.
The Navy gave him two weeks off for his shoulder surgery and he is enjoying it mostly. He has no limitations but is still very sore and it is hard for him to move his arm on its own. He started rehab last Friday and is going every other day next week.
Since James is going to be working in the evenings I also switched to evenings. Part of that means some weekends too. I am trying to work every other Saturday and be off on Sundays. I want to be fair to the my co-workers though so I might be working more than that. I don't really think I will be going back to days while we are here. It is my hope to get pregnant soon and then once the baby gets here I will just work maybe one night a week and Saturdays since it really wont be worth it for us to pay for childcare. This is all me dreaming though.
I haven't taken the last round of clomid. I'm not going to. I plan to call my doctor this week and tell her to just refer me down to OB. I just can't handle those hormones. Hot flashes and mood swings and dark scary thoughts are not my cup of tea. I know, I know that's what happens during pregnancy (maybe not the dark thoughts, I hear that happens postpartum) I could handle it if I was carrying a life inside me. It would be worth it then, but I'm not, not yet anyway.
Another thing that has been going on is respect. What? Yup, respect. I have been reading this book called Love and Respect. They have a website loveandrespect.com You can check it out if you want. The entire book is based on this simple concept that women need love and men need respect. I didn't like it at first, it seemed a little chauvinistic. I kept reading though till it gave me some tools to work with. The book is based on biblical teaching so I started practicing using the word respect with James. I was amazed with the response. He was immediately more loving with me. I think initially I wanted to give only to get, but now I feel different. I want James to know that I not only love him but like him, he knows that when I show him respect.
One of the biggest ways that I showed him respect last week when I trusted his judgement for purchasing a new truck. We traded in the Xterra and got an 08 Chevy Silverado. Instead of saying no no no, I was quiet. He chose the best and most logical truck of the ones we were looking at and because he is a responsible guy we have a much better credit score than we did when we got the Xterra so we have a better interest rate and our payments are lower. How awesome is that! A newer vehicle with less miles, a great warranty, and we are paying less than what we were. I'm not trying to brag by any means. It just seems like God is smacking me in the forehead again. "Audra, I gave you this great guy, but your not letting him be great. Your not letting him lead you in making big decisions. Don't you think he is responsible and he wants what is best for you?"
Anywho this past week just seems like it has been one of the best in my life. I have been respectful of my husband and he has seemed more loving than all our 7 years combined and we haven't even done anything out of the ordinary.
Today my church had a fish-fry and baptism. James came with me and we had a good time. Our friends got baptized together and I am so happy for them and hope that we can learn and grow in Christ together.
After we left the fish fry we drove over to Alabama listening to country radio. (We like driving out there if you haven't noticed.) Blake Shelton's song came on God Gave Me You. I wish it would have been our wedding song. I just love it and it fits us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDA1s0Uzaq4&feature=related I hope you will take a listen. It plays on K-LOVE christian radio as well. It was originally written by Dave Barns.
Have a great week!
Oh and the new truck is purple. Since we started naming our vehicles (my Uncle Jim and Aunt Sandy's family have always done this, I love it and so James and I now name ours.) James came up with the name Purple Murple. We will just be calling it Murple though. My little car is named Suzi, it is fitting since it's a suzuki. So now we will say when leaving the house "Do you want to take Suzi or Murple?" Haha, I love it! :)
The Navy gave him two weeks off for his shoulder surgery and he is enjoying it mostly. He has no limitations but is still very sore and it is hard for him to move his arm on its own. He started rehab last Friday and is going every other day next week.
Since James is going to be working in the evenings I also switched to evenings. Part of that means some weekends too. I am trying to work every other Saturday and be off on Sundays. I want to be fair to the my co-workers though so I might be working more than that. I don't really think I will be going back to days while we are here. It is my hope to get pregnant soon and then once the baby gets here I will just work maybe one night a week and Saturdays since it really wont be worth it for us to pay for childcare. This is all me dreaming though.
I haven't taken the last round of clomid. I'm not going to. I plan to call my doctor this week and tell her to just refer me down to OB. I just can't handle those hormones. Hot flashes and mood swings and dark scary thoughts are not my cup of tea. I know, I know that's what happens during pregnancy (maybe not the dark thoughts, I hear that happens postpartum) I could handle it if I was carrying a life inside me. It would be worth it then, but I'm not, not yet anyway.
Another thing that has been going on is respect. What? Yup, respect. I have been reading this book called Love and Respect. They have a website loveandrespect.com You can check it out if you want. The entire book is based on this simple concept that women need love and men need respect. I didn't like it at first, it seemed a little chauvinistic. I kept reading though till it gave me some tools to work with. The book is based on biblical teaching so I started practicing using the word respect with James. I was amazed with the response. He was immediately more loving with me. I think initially I wanted to give only to get, but now I feel different. I want James to know that I not only love him but like him, he knows that when I show him respect.
One of the biggest ways that I showed him respect last week when I trusted his judgement for purchasing a new truck. We traded in the Xterra and got an 08 Chevy Silverado. Instead of saying no no no, I was quiet. He chose the best and most logical truck of the ones we were looking at and because he is a responsible guy we have a much better credit score than we did when we got the Xterra so we have a better interest rate and our payments are lower. How awesome is that! A newer vehicle with less miles, a great warranty, and we are paying less than what we were. I'm not trying to brag by any means. It just seems like God is smacking me in the forehead again. "Audra, I gave you this great guy, but your not letting him be great. Your not letting him lead you in making big decisions. Don't you think he is responsible and he wants what is best for you?"
Anywho this past week just seems like it has been one of the best in my life. I have been respectful of my husband and he has seemed more loving than all our 7 years combined and we haven't even done anything out of the ordinary.
Today my church had a fish-fry and baptism. James came with me and we had a good time. Our friends got baptized together and I am so happy for them and hope that we can learn and grow in Christ together.
After we left the fish fry we drove over to Alabama listening to country radio. (We like driving out there if you haven't noticed.) Blake Shelton's song came on God Gave Me You. I wish it would have been our wedding song. I just love it and it fits us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDA1s0Uzaq4&feature=related I hope you will take a listen. It plays on K-LOVE christian radio as well. It was originally written by Dave Barns.
Have a great week!
Oh and the new truck is purple. Since we started naming our vehicles (my Uncle Jim and Aunt Sandy's family have always done this, I love it and so James and I now name ours.) James came up with the name Purple Murple. We will just be calling it Murple though. My little car is named Suzi, it is fitting since it's a suzuki. So now we will say when leaving the house "Do you want to take Suzi or Murple?" Haha, I love it! :)
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