Home Healing

James is at home now. He was in the O.R. for about 3 hours. He is sleeping now. Just hoping he will do as the doctor says and heals quickly. He has his first check-up appointment on the 18th. Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts today! We love you guys. :)

Surgery

Hey guys,

James is having surgery on his shoulder tomorrow morning. We have to be at the hospital at 8:45am central time. Prayers that the procedure will go as planned or better and a fast recovery would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Lately

Hey guys,

I hope everyone has been well. My parents came down last week so I was off having fun with them and my nephew Neal. We did go tubing down Blackwater River. I had a good time. After about 30 minutes downstream it started raining and rained for the next 2 1/2 hours for the remainder of the float, haha. It was nice and refreshing rain though and we were already wet and in our swim clothes anyway. :) The guys on the last day went on a Charter fishing tour out in the gulf. They had tons of fun and James wants to take everyone who visits us now. They even had a dolphin come up to the boat and steal the fish they had on their line! How awesome would that be to see!

My mom brought down my mom's old sewing machine and I bought several patters on sale and am hoping to start learning some things. Unfortunately all I learned how to do was thread the machine and place the bobbin in. I hope to be having some skype lessons with my mom.

Last time I blogged I talked about how lately I am feeling like I am in slow motion and everyone is passing me by. Well I'm about to get really honest with you about something I am struggling with. I have been feeling somewhat depressed lately. I am going to go ahead and blame it on hormones. I am still somewhat close minded on depression. It seems everyone has it and relies on medication to help them. If medicine can do this, great. I however am on hormones to help get pregnant. So of course I have a hormone imbalance now. I was having some really dark thoughts and went ahead and told James about them. He is really a great guy at his core. I was just questioning everything about my life.

I went to my life group on Sunday which I basically think of as Sunday school and we are going back to basic Bible truths. It was just what I needed to hear. We read in  Colossians 1:16 Christ is the one through whom God created everything in heaven and earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can't see- kings, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities. Everything has been created through him and for him. 
We kept reading on till verse 23. You should look it up and read it. Let me know what you think about it. We sat there and discussed verse 16 for awhile though. I was really amazed when we read it. It just brought tears to my eyes. Here I was just the night before talking with James about not having a sense of purpose, and BAM. God says HE created me. Everything was created through him and FOR him. Those are the parts that stuck out to me. I used to think of God as my father. My Dad was the person I loved the most in this world so I related God to my Dad. Now The person I love most in this world is my husband. So this may sound crazy but I feel like I should love God with as much passion that I love my husband with. I think that God loves me not only like a daughter but he loves me in EVERY way possible. God is love. He is also a jealous God and I feel that he wants me to love him every way that I know how.  I long to be a pleasing wife and give my husband the respect he deserves and so when I look back at the verse and see that I was created FOR God. I want to be pleasing to God too. I don't want to be disobedient or irreverent. It is just crazy to me. Maybe it's weird that I am interpreting the verse that way.

Something that I also struggle with is reading my Bible. Some weeks the only time my Bible is open is on Sunday morning. How can I have a relationship with God and not listen to him. It's like I'm a bad friend who only does the talking and never listens. I am always amazed when something from the Bible hits me square between the eyes. I'm like "Wow God! That is so good."
He is prolly like "Ya think Audra? I mean I'm only God." I like to think that God has a sense on humor and is sometimes sarcastic. We were created in his image after all. ;)

That's what has been going on with me. I didn't end up going to the doctor to get my pregnancy test done yet. Maybe I will do that tomorrow. I don't think I am though. So I will most likely take my last round of clomid. Hang on James! Just one more round. Please pray for me and for us that these hormones won't get the best of me.  

On another note. While my parents were here we had some awesome food. One of my favorite things we had was Olive Garden salad! James got the idea when he saw the peppers in the pickle isle. I thought it was a great idea. We got the lettuce, olives, onion, peppers, shredded italian cheeses, and my mom brought some home grown roma tomatoes. We bought a 17 oz bottle of italain dressing from Olive Garden for only $5. I thought that was a descent price since it is AMAZING! :) It was so good and I hope I made you hungry.

Enjoy the rest of your week! I love you all!

How families work

I have recently been watching a lot of reality tv on Netflix. Teen Mom, Jon & Kate Plus 8, and today I started watching Table for 12. Here are some of my thoughts.

Teen Mom. I love this show and I hate this show. Catelynn chose adoption for her daughter and watching her struggle and then thrive and grow up is really crazy. My heart just breaks for these girls. I can see how Farrah has matured some but is still a teenager and you can see that with how she and her mother talk. (Sometimes I'm ashamed to say I still talk to my mom like a teenager. Lord bless her!)  Amber is lost. It seems she lacks  in communication skills and turns to violence. I wish that she would stay in therapy to learn life skills. Maci doesn't seem to go after what she wants. I think she could have worked things out with the father of her child but she doesn't express herself. It seems the ones that thrive the best have a good support system. Catelynn didn't have the backing of her family for her decision to use adoption but she was smart and used the support groups and does have Tyler (baby's father). They seem to be wise beyond their years.

Jon & Kate Plus 8. They had twin girls first and then they had sextuplets. I have only seen the first season and a couple of episodes into the 2nd. I don't think I will continue to watch it because I know that they end up divorced. You can see from season one that Jon and Kate just don't talk supportive to each other. I fear that since I am on Clomid we might have multiples. It is a risk of taking this medication. I am a lot like Kate. I like things to be a certain way. I like organization and knowing what is going on. When things don't go my way, lets just say it doesn't go well for James. I can be quite a snot. I know this is something I need to work on and it would be best before we have kids. I want to be a loving and supportive wife. I want James to know that I respect him. The best way he will know that is if I SHOW him. I looked up respect and I like the verb form of the word the best.
 –verb (used with object)

9.

to hold in esteem or honor: I cannot respect a cheat.

10.

to show regard or consideration for: to respect someone's rights.

11.

to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with: to respect a person's privacy.

To hold in esteem. That may sound over the top, but is it? I don't think so. My husband works hard and provides for me. I have a nice house, the bills are paid, we get to go out to concerts and movies. (I do work so I help out with some of those fun things.) What do I do for him in return? Most days I complain about making dinner and trying to figure out what he wants to eat. I'm also very tired after work. I really have no idea how people do it. I remember my mom always seemed to have an endless supply of energy. She may say she is exhausted but she rarely turns down new projects for the church or helping cook meals for a friend or a church member. She would never sit still. Her hands are always busy. How do you do it Mom?!?!! 

I want to be like her. I want to have a clean house and cook nice for my husband and still be active in my friends lives. I don't want to check out. Most days I feel I do just that. "Oh, I'm off work now and I was up since 3, so I'm going to take a nap now. I deserve it." Maybe I do need a nap, but I should limit it to 15-30 mins, not 2 hours. When I wake up I'm grumpy and still tired and don't want to cook or do anything else but watch tv with James. Maybe we need to start turning that tv off. I don't think he would like that too much. 

If you are a praying person I would like you to pray for me. I want to be an energetic women of God. Pray that I will be hungry for Him again. I feel like my desire has left me. I feel the weeks just keep passing me by, as if I am in slow motion watching everyone else blaze right on by like they are on fast forward. 

James is such a good man. I don't know when that happened. He seems to not get angry as much and is so great with kids. He is outgoing and funny. He can make anyone laugh. He used to be offensive sarcastic funny, (sometimes still is) but now he is really just funny. He knows how to be silly. I love that. He seems to have more patience even with me. Oh he still gets angry don't get me wrong, (especially behind slow drivers) but not like he used to when we were new. I love him so much. We got married when we were 19. We were just kids. I think he has grown up. Lately I feel I am the angry one who gets easily annoyed. I don't want to be like this. He deserves so much more. 

Table for 12. So far I have only seen two episodes. I really like this family. They have twins, twins, and then sextuplets. They seem like a team. I love that. I want to be supportive like that. I want my kids to pitch in an be respectful like that. My parents tried to raise us that way. It worked somewhat. 

So really I am just in awe of they different dynamics of families and watching how they work. 

Sorry that this is on a white background. I copied and pasted the definition and couldn't figure out how to change it back after that part. :( I'm not computer savvy .

James on the News

James was on our local Fox channels news last night! He is the instructor in the white helmet.

http://www.fox10tv.com/dpp/news/local_news/pensacola/Navy-bomb-assemblers-train-locally?ref=scroller

Hooray for the Weekend!

I am off tomorrow so I get a three day weekend! :)

I plan on going to yoga in the morning and then attempting to remove the spray paint from the house. I bought Goof Off and Krud Kutter graffiti remover so we will see which one works without doing any damage to the siding.

Update on baby making. ;) haha. I just completed my second round of Clomid. All I can say is HOLY HOT FLASHES! I had about 20 yesterday. They don't last long thank goodness, but enough to make my upper lip and forehead break out in a sweat. My first round I didn't take my temperature so I am doing that this round. So far it hasn't raised enough to say that I'm ovulating yet, but I still have a couple of weeks. I'm excited that it's gonna happen. I take my next pregnancy test on Aug 5th. If not pregnant I have one more round and then I am referred out of family practice and to OB. 

My parents and nephew are coming into town the first week in August. We are really excited. My mom is bringing me down my mom's old sewing machine and teaching me how to work it. I always get stuck when I first start, on how to work the bobbin and how to change the thread out. I want to learn some simple projects and hopefully get to were I can make some sun dresses. My friend Brooke recently made me some curtains and is all excited about sewing. She has sewed so many curtains, shower curtains, pillow cases and even a bed runner for her own house. She definitely does things full speed ahead! :) So the plan is to have a day were my mom can teach me some things but also show Brooke some things too. I know that I will be calling Brooke over to help if I get stuck somewhere.

We also plan on tubing down a current river and also go deep sea fishing on a charter boat. I think I might convince them to go to a movie on base since Wednesday 12 and 12:30 movies are FREE! I love FREE! and I love movies. :)

I am super excited about hanging out with Neal. He is such a good kid and I'm not just saying that cause he is my nephew. Honest!

I think that is most of our big plans for August. In September we plan on taking a weekend trip to Atlanta and meeting Faie and PG for a Braves game. We also have the make-up of the Jason Aldean concert because it was rained out. We still went and had the time of our lives though! We got completely SOAKED on the way back to the car so we figured we were already wet so we just stayed and had a good time with our friends right there in the parking lot. Singing and dancing in the rain, swimming and muddin in our cars. I'm excited to go again! :) Also James will be turning 26 on the 24th!

That's pretty much what is going on here for the rest of the summer. I can't believe how fast this year is going by!

Crazy Hounds

These are our hounds and you can see why we love them so much! They are just too cute even when they are loud. <3