Peanut Butter

I love peanut butter. I used to hate it when I was little. Now I find it very comforting.

I love it with apples and bananas, on a sandwich with grape, strawberry and especially blackberry jam. 

James once dipped Nilla Wafers into the peanut butter jar and ate them. I sit here now doing the same thing, wondering why no one has put this together to sell them. It is good and you should try it. Much better than on a Ritz. 

Oh and you can't forget the big glass of milk!

Can't sleep

It is now just after 5am on a Sunday. I went to bed around 11, that's pretty late for me and I didn't fall asleep till after 1. I couldn't shut my brain off so I got up and made a list of the things I wanted to get done in the next weeks before company starts coming in. I thought getting it out of my head and onto paper would help.

I don't know if I can't sleep because I worked too hard in the yard today or if it is a side affect of the Clomid. I took my first pill yesterday! I just looked at the side effects and it didn't say anything about sleep. It does say, "Stomach upset, bloating, abdominal/pelvic fullness, flushing ("hot flashes"), breast tenderness, headache, or dizziness may occur." So far I have an upset stomach. Hopefully that's all I get. I have some friends who have taken Clomid and couldn't stand the side effects. I think they had almost all of them plus severe mood swings. It is a hormone so I am prepared for the worst from their stories. I don't know if James is prepared or not, hahahaha! Maybe that should be changed to an evil laugh, MmWahahahaha! ;) Just kidding babe!

So I guess I can't sleep because I overexerted myself today, yesterday actually. James and I leveled some flower beds out and put the weed free black sheets out and placed down some landscaping logs. Looking at it typed makes it seem like a piece of cake, trust me, it was hard work. Just getting it leveled in some areas was pretty hard. We have two large trees in our yard and they have massive root systems. So ya, that was pretty hard. I took a lunch break then I went and organized the garage for about an hour and then I organized my little desk area in my kitchen for about three hours. I let paper pile up before I file it away. I was able to get rid of not one, but two junk drawers! Now I just have one junk drawer left and it is organized! :) It doesn't actually contain any junk, it has batteries, little post its, push-pins, nails and screws. It's more of a handy drawer than a junk drawer.

I couldn't shut off my brain because I was left thinking about how my yard is going to look when it's done. We want to repaint our plastic shutters darker and get some cheap plastic pots and paint them the same color. I need to get another shower organizer, you know, the kind that you hang from the shower head that holds your shampoo and stuff. I also want to get some bath mats. They have some memory foam ones at Bed Bath and Beyond, (LOVE that store!) and also at Big Lots now. I need to compare prices. The only other thing that I want is a jewelery organizer for a drawer. I have an organizer for my earrings and necklaces that I got from Claire's. It hangs up on the wall though. I would like a different one for my day to day jewelery that I use and take off before bed.

I guess I am up for the day now. I'll eat breakfast and watch some Grey's Anatomy on Netflix till it's time to get ready for church. I guess I'll have a nice Sunday afternoon nap to look forward to. They are the best! :)

Weekend Fun

I hope everyone had a fantastic memorial weekend. James and I did. My fabulous weekend started Friday while at work. A patron complemented me saying I was such a sweet person. :) I was so flattered, it has been awhile since I got an out of the blue genuine complement. It was nice. Then we closed the gym early for an MWR picnic, that was nice but a little boring. I left as soon as I could and then James and I hit the road and went to see Faie in Jacksonville!
We had such a good time, we went to St.Augustine to the beach and to St. Gorge St. They had a bunch of little shops, it reminded me a lot of Charleston. I bought this cute blue and white beach hat. I love it and James liked it. Faie said it looks like a gardening hat, haha. You can judge for yourself.

My eyes are almost closed because the sun was so bright, just after this picture I put my sunglasses on. :)

Overall it was a fun trip, I drove on the way back so it forced me to stay awake. James and I love a good road trip. We should do it more than just going home. We have good conversations and we just have fun. Here is a video of me having fun. 

I may not be star material, but I'm still pretty awesome! :) 

Today I thought was going to be pretty crappy. Back to work, blah, blah, blah. A patron was pretty snotty to me when I asked him to follow the rules of putting his gym bag in a locker. I was totally polite, I understand that he is frustrated that we aren't the best at enforcing this all the time, but it's still a rule and I have the right to enforce it. It's always the retirees that give the most trouble, never the guys who are actively serving. I don't get it. 

After I got off work today I went to the doctor again. It took me an hour before I was even seen by the doctor. Then once I was seen, success! I now have clomid. It's a fertility drug to help me ovulate more. Turns out being irregular this last month was good cause I can start taking it in about 3 days! Yippee! 

Sorry I left you on a depressed note for a week if you read the last blog. I never knew just trying to have a baby would have such ups and downs. Today is an up day and I think for the next 3 months it will be up just because we are really really actively trying. 

When I got home we went to Lows and got a bunch of stuff to start making our yard look nice. Nice yards make me happy. That will be a weekend project, we just bought some stuff today. I will post before and after pictures when it's done. 

Have a good week everyone! 

~I published 2 posts that I didn't email to everyone, I don't want to start junking up anyone's inbox. :)

It's alright or it will be

This month I am late. Really late actually. I took a test this morning and nope...no cigar. I'm sad. I let myself get excited again when really I haven't taken my medicine so I'm most likely just irregular again.
So I am just bumming around the house this morning and skipping church. Yup, after the whole spiel of how you should give church a try if you aren't connected. blah blah blah.
I just don't want to show up and then start bawling uncontrollably and then everyone looks at me and like what is her problem, oh let's pray for her. ~ Ok, I know it wont be like that and I do miss my friends that go there.

It's not like I'm the only one trying out there. We are still in just the first stages, no drugs at all yet besides the one for my blood sugar. I feel selfish and sad and mad.

That's about it. It's a rotten burrito day. I'll mope and then try again. Tomorrow's a new day and hey, trying is fun.
Yup, that's all folks.

I think I'm supposed to do this.

Ok, so I guess I'm going on blog overload now! hahaha. Since I don't want to annoy anyone I won't send this one to anyone's email.

I get email updates from my church. This last one I got has all the mission trips my church is going to be a part of this year and I feel like there is one I supposed to go on. I really think I could be useful. They are having a medical/dental clinic and since I am/used to be a dental assistant I really think it would be a great opportunity to put my knowledge to use for good.
Three things need to happen and one already has. My husband said it was ok if I went! That is fantastic, especially after he found out how much it is! ;) The next thing that needs to happen is opportunities need to open up locally to brush off my skill. I plan to volunteer, but I still need those doors to open for me to do this and I also need the extra energy for volunteering. The third thing that needs to happen is of course finances. This trip isn't until October so that does give me some time to work with to save. I want this to be a God thing though, I kinda feel that it is. IF this truly is, I think all I need to do is take those 1st steps. Start a separate missions account and put money in it. God will see to fill it by October. The other step is brushing off my good old resume and stepping into the dental clinic to see what their needs are. (Believe it or not, I actually work right across the street from the one on base. Could that in fact be a God thing?) Again, if this is a God thing then he is going before me to set up slot where I can work, learn and brush up on what I will need to know for this trip.

I hope we can be in agreement by prayer, if this is what I'm supposed to do, ( I believe that it is) then all of these things will fall into place.

This is copied from the email my church sent:

PORT AU PRINCE, HAITI

October 16-22, 2011

Medical Clinic and House Construction

Partnering with Hillcrest Baptist Church

This is a dual purpose community outreach project that seeks to minister to the physical and spiritual needs of Haitians then direct them to our local partners in Haiti for follow-up and discipleship.

The project will be divided into two parts:

1) construction - we will have one or two construction teams that will either build single family homes or will work together to build / rebuild a church building;

2) medical/dental clinic - we will have a team of medical professionals that will host a medical/dental clinic in one of the neighborhoods  of Port-au-Prince.

Cost: $475 per person in country plus round-trip airline ticket (currently about $800 p/p)

Baptized

This is my testimony that was shared with my church on May 1st 2011. I was baptized just after this was read. 

I have been good most of my life. I was raised going to church and have mostly lived a responsible life. I was saved* and baptized when I was 9 years old.  I was very involved with my youth group and was even called “the goody-goody church girl” at school.

My junior year in high school I became angry with God. Everyone was dating and having fun and I was just going to church. I never did any drastic partying or drugs. I simply let myself fall in love, and gave myself away.

Over the past six years, I was running from God for at least five of them. I was a good person, everything I did I justified comparing myself to the worlds standards. By God’s standards though, I was still a sinner, still separated from HIM.

It has always been in my dark times when I call out to Jesus. He has never failed me. However, as soon as I considered myself fixed then I would be right back making other people my god. 

About a year and a half ago, I was fed up with myself. I have tried time and time again to fix things myself. This time instead of crying out to God in desperation I started talking to him. I told him what I was sick of. I told him my feelings, my fears, my frustrations. As I was talking, I felt loved and understood. I realized I have never really had a relationship with Jesus until that day. I prayed to him all the time, but I never talked to him like that. Like he was my friend.

Today I stand before all of you confessing that I am a sinner, knowing that Christ died for me and was raised again. I have accepted Him into my heart and know that I am forgiven and loved. 

* In my real testimony I said that I was saved when I was nine. Behind the scenes just before being baptized my pastor asked me, "Audra, were you saved when you were nine or were you saved a year and half ago?" I was stunned by this question and really wanted to be baptized that morning because my husband came with me. It really meant a lot to me that he was there and by golly I was going to be baptized! So I told the pastor that I was saved a year and a half ago, so then we took out the word saved from this spot. 

However, I do not believe in once saved always saved. I do not know what my pastor believes. I believe with all my heart that I asked Jesus to come into my life when I was nine years old. I do know that when I was about 17 I deliberately turned my back on God and made choices that did not reflect who Christ is. I believe that if I were to have died during that 5 year period I would not have went to heaven. I know that sounds so harsh but it is true. Isaiah 59:1-2 Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. 

We also see this in Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death...

I also want you to know that I am not upset with my pastor for asking to change the wording. I'm sure that it would have confused people. I just want all of you to know my real story. I believe that my pastor is a great man of God and I am learning a lot. 

On another note, I also want to say that I think it is important if you are a Christian to find a good church home. Many people think it is ok to watch church on TV and say that you went to church or read your little devotional and that is all you consider “church.” Those things are in fact great things to do. I think you are missing out on many great relationships and great teachings. That is what Pastors do. They teach and minister and we grow in Christ. Ephesians 4: 11-12 says: So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.

So you see, there is a reason believers get together to go to church. A good pastor will help to equip you with the knowledge of Christ so you can lift him up and the entire body of Christ. WE are the body.

If you believe you can't find a church home where you fit or that the people will judge you and churches are filled with a bunch of hypocrites, I would encourage you to look again. Churches are filled with people. People are people. We make mistakes, we judge by our very human nature, don't you at times? There are people within the church who are like that at almost any church in America. However there are also some of the most genuine loving, broken for the Lord people as well. I hate for you to miss out on a great friendship because you may have been hurt in the past or feel there is no one "real." 

I hope each and everyone who reads this post can take something encouraging away from this. Thanks for reading. 

I'm back! :)

It has been a little while! We went on vacation and it was grand!

We were in good old Missouri for 2 weeks. We went to my best friend Faie's graduation in Springfield MO. She now has her Masters degree in school counseling. I'm so proud of her. I like that I have smart/educated friends who have accomplished something. I think those who are closest to you in life have a great affect on who you are and how you act. I'm also super excited that she is now living about 5 hours away from me so I plan to see her every long weekend I can! :)
After our time in Springfield we went back to our hometown. We mostly hung out with our parents. The last days of our vacation we went up to Shelbina, Shelbyville, and Bethel MO. I feel like I need to say all three towns since they are so small. I think less than 2,000 people in all three combined. We went up there for Pop's 70th birthday. It was supposed to be a surprise but they had to tell him about it to get him to get out of his house. I think that ALL of the grandkids showing up was a surprise though so it turned out really nice. I learned how to play 11 pt pitch (it's a card game.)  I typically don't like to play card games. I like more of the party board games that make you yell and sing or whatever else. Playing cards makes you think. I don't like to do that so much for fun. It stresses me out, plus I'm a sore loser. Hey, I just like to have smart friends. I never said I was smart. haha
It ended up being a rainy weekend and we were camping in a pop-up. We were also right next to the lake so it was pretty windy and cold. We still had a good time though, even made some s'mores. I didn't get to do three things that I wanted to though. I wanted to shoot some guns, go see Mim's grave and drive by her old house. I know it would have been bitter sweet. Maybe next time we'll have the time.
We didn't have our camera with us for the entire trip. :( Disappointed about that. Hopefully my mom can email me some and I can post a couple up.
That's the last two weeks in a nutshell! :) I hope all of you have been well!